I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure