just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
