You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Did you poop on the roof?
Is that a no?