Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...