I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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