i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
