Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
