She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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