Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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