So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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