The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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