Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
