A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
