y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
