I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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