Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
