I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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