I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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