I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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