Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
