i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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