Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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