You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
