Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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