I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
