please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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