Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So vagazzling was a success
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
