SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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