I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize