THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
