This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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