she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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