It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
