Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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