i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
