Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
