butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
