Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
