oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
