Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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