I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
