somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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