I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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