First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
