i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
