There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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