Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
