he thought i was a dude.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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