Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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