he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize