Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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