she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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