she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
