Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
