GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
