Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
