Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
