that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
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I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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