we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
