Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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