i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
