Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
