I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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