i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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