don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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