all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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