There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
